Thursday, October 8, 2009

Memories of past humiliations re-lived in a few split seconds….

Tonight, at Tayla’s birthday party, Tehani was playing and laughing, and jumping around at the Jungle House.  She was loving all the attention that she was getting, but I was afraid that she was getting too loud so I tried to tell her to stop, but she just wasn’t hearing me, so I rose my voice and that was my big mistake.  Tehani started crying and it wasn’t just one of those bratty cries, it was a real cry.  I recognized it right away and it brought me back to the days when I was attention starved from my brothers and their friends, and all I wanted was to be a part of their company and instead of being welcomed in, I was humiliated and made fun of by my brothers.  I felt terrible!  She had begun to cry uncontrollably from the get-go and all because I was afraid of what others might think.  I thought, maybe they won’t understand that she’s showing her confidence and she just got comfortable with them and I, her mother, just brought her down from that.  I clearly remember feeling the humiliation and that’s something I have never stopped fearing.  I’ve learned to deal with it a bit, or hide it, but I haven’t fully let go of it.  UGH!  I’m pissed off with myself!  I just think there was a better way of handling that situation and I chose to be the jerk!  I just feel I’m being counter-productive.  That all of this upbringing will just backfire on me and I would have failed.  That’s normal, I think.  I doubt I’m the only one who thinks that way.  My poor Tehani.  I’m sorry.  I’m really sorry.

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