A Mother In Hysterics?

Not quite, yet not far from it. I had just finished showering with Tehani and we were all wrapped up in our towels and ready to walk out of the bathroom. Tehani asked me to carry her. And usually, I say no and have her walk instead. But this time, I consented since she asked nicely. Not only was I carrying her in one arm, but I was holding all of our clothes that we just took off, and to top it all off, my muscles were fatigued and sore from my workouts this week. So we’re walking and I get to the door of our room and try to push it open. I honestly do not know what happened that caused Tehani to fall backward out of my arms, but she hit the sink basin that sits in the hallway. It hadn’t been installed yet, and it’s been there for a while now. But my poor Tehani fell head first to the ground, hitting the sink basin. She didn’t fall completely out of my arms, because I was still holding her legs. I just couldn’t manage to catch her in time. I was SO MAD! The flood of emotions that hit me, I tell you, was amazing because I recognized each one as it changed from one to the next. I was so MAD and it showed. She was hurting and it was my fault! And I found myself, thinking of all kinds of excuses why this happened and even tried to share the blame with others, but I caught myself and instead, just took responsibility for it. I was scared. She had a huge bump on the back of her head and a little tiny cut. I was so overcome with emotion, that I couldn’t keep it together when I was telling my mom and dad about it. I started to break down and I felt like a fool who couldn't keep it together! I was mildly frantic (if there is such a thing). I was worrying about Tehani’s well-being and the possibility of her injury being more serious than it appeared. I imagined it being fatal for her little head and it would have been all my fault. It haunts me from time to time. The fear of losing her. And the thought proves unbearable and I break down and cry as if I had really lost her. Tell me I’m not the only one who experiences this?