Worry. I worry how it will be received when I tell them. How do I tell them? When? There’s people around, should that matter? My mind is running quickly with all kinds of little fears and wonder, then all at once it stops when I decide to just say it.
I say it. The reaction I had not been hoping for creeps upon their face and I can smell the rain coming. Then the questions come flying and all of a sudden I’m being interrogated for a crime. I wonder how I got here in the first place.
The bitter tone of the discussion continually grows and casts a darkness over all. The thunder rumbles and I feel the storm coming. My heart picks up its pace. Afraid at where this conversation is going. The accusation in their speech stings like the sharp rain against your face.
Then the flood. A wave of anger washes over me. Why are they being such a jerk about this? They’re being selfish and can’t see past their own nose! Then another wave hits me. One of hurt and disappointment. Why are they throwing all of their frustrations on me when I'm busy trying to balance everything else. I’m like a fool in the storm, trying to hoard all my valuables to safety while these gusts of wind try to knock me over. To them, I am a fool. Because I can’t do what they’re telling me to do. Everyone’s yelling at me to do this and that from every which way and I can’t hear a damn thing they’re saying! And then the third wave hits. Self pity.
And I drown myself in it.
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